Forming a single-parent family is definitely a significant decision that requires quite careful planning, how to approach this process? In the following article, we explain everything you need to know.

How to face motherhood alone?


A child is a very big responsibility. It is probably the event in our lives that changes us the most. You will not be the same person after becoming a mother and you have to be prepared for that. Motherhood begins with the desire to be one, and it is forever. Therefore, being a single mother is not a decision that should be taken lightly, but rather one that must be well thought out.


It is very important that you ask yourself a series of questions beforehand, which, if as a couple they fall on both members when facing motherhood alone, they will correspond only to you. Some of them, as Rafael San Román, iFeel psychologist, tells us, are: Do I really want to be a mother? Why do I have this desire? What do I imagine it will be like to be a solo mother? How lonely will my motherhood be, that is, what support network do I have to cope? Do I come to this project because I want it for its own sake or as a plan B after having failed to find a partner with whom to start a family? Can I afford it economically, physically, psychologically, etc.? What scares me the most once the baby arrives and beyond?


Am I ready for it?

It is, without a doubt, one of the most frequent doubts and also a fear that can interfere with desire. But experts help us think about it differently. "We never know what we are prepared for until we are already immersed in the challenge. We can intuit it, feel it, think about it, but reality may be different," says Rafael San Román. In any case, the useful thing is to question yourself, ask yourself questions (not face the complexity of single motherhood in a superficial way, talk a lot with other people, especially those who can contribute their experience in the first person, visualize yourself in difficult situations that are relatively probable, become familiar with the care of small children (whether they are babies or slightly older children), etc., suggests the psychology expert.

The importance of mental health in the entire process

In addition to all the questions mentioned above, there is a question that must be taken into account in these cases: how is my mental health? Mental health is vitally important for anyone considering single motherhood, as not only can the treatment process be emotionally impactful, but pregnancy and parenting can also be very stressful.


Maintaining good mental health will definitely help you better deal with the emotional ups and downs of this whole new journey. And how to achieve it? Well, there are many strategies to achieve mental health. But the most important key is to plan self-care and have solid support from friends, family or a therapist.

What will the treatment be like?

Once we have fully matured the decision, we must go to an assisted reproduction clinic, where the professional team will advise and support us at all times. "The type of treatment that we can perform will depend on each person and will be assessed jointly with the medical team after completing the consultation and requested tests. Always, as far as possible, we will try to start with the simplest approaches and be less invasive, although it will depend on the woman's fertility. In cases of older ages, or a previous history of factors that may hinder the success of the process, such as age, endometriosis, or uterine fibroids, we will have to climb the step of treatment complexity. We will do all this in a completely personalized and individualized way for each patient at the time of their consultation," explains Dr. Anabel Salazar, director of IVI Málaga.


The first option, therefore, will be artificial insemination with donor semen. In some cases, it can even be done without hormonal stimulation, simply following the patient's natural cycle. Three to six cycles can be performed, depending on the prognostic factors of each woman and, if this fails, in vitro fertilization may be recommended, or the donation of eggs or embryos in situations in which age or reserve ovarian or egg quality is compromised.


Do these techniques have risks?

In the case of ovarian stimulation, there is the possibility of hyperstimulation; and the puncture or extraction of eggs in the operating room for in vitro fertilization. The complication rate is less than 0.4%. Among the most frequent problems are bleeding or infection. "They are very safe procedures and are carried out under a high level of supervision because we are aware that we are dealing with young and healthy women. The risk of twin pregnancy is quite low because, increasingly, we recommend the transfer of embryos from one in one, thanks to the high survival rate we have in thawing in our laboratories," recalls the director of IVI Málaga.


Up to what age can I?

There is no specific consensus or age limit for single motherhood that is different from that for couples with infertility. The recommended age in Spain for treatments is up to 50 years of age, but it must be evaluated by the medical team.