It is advisable to wait 40 days after childbirth to resume sexual relations, because this is the approximate time it takes for the internal part of the uterus where the placenta has been to recover. But the time to resume them is different for each woman.
All women and their partners experience changes in the way they experience sexuality when they become parents: physical, psychological, emotional... Throughout pregnancy there are very different and changing moments over time regarding sexual desire and the sensations. These transformations also vary from one woman to another and from one pregnancy to another. But what about after the baby arrives?
To resume sexual relations after giving birth, it is advisable to wait 40 days, known as the quarantine period. Abstinence is justified if there is scarring in the perineum from an episiotomy or tears in childbirth: early intercourse could delay healing. But the time to resume sexual relations after giving birth is different for each woman.
In which cases should you wait longer?
If there have been scars on the perineum due to the episiotomy or tears have occurred during childbirth, it is advisable to wait a little longer because intercourse could delay healing or even cause infections. It would be advisable for your gynecologist or midwife to tell you the status of the points before considering having intercourse. In addition, using lubricants on the first occasions will avoid discomfort.
What if I feel like it after 20 days?
When you both feel it is the right time. You're supposed to be waiting for your doctor to give you the green light at your six-week postpartum visit. However, some suggest that it is a good idea to try having sex before going to the doctor so that you can tell him or her about the difficulties you encountered. It will be the woman who considers when she is ready to resume sexual activity.
Does lubrication decrease after giving birth?
The drop in estrogen that occurs after childbirth, and even more so if you breastfeed, can reduce vaginal lubrication. For this reason, some women feel fear of penetration or even some discomfort when they have sexual relations.
A lubricant can be very helpful if the perineal region is sensitive. It can also serve to compensate for the vaginal dryness that many women experience at this stage. Commenting on it during the postpartum pelvic floor review to assess the state of the muscles and skin is of great importance.
It is not necessary to complete the sexual act the first time you feel sensual or aroused. It may be easier to start by caressing each other and gradually get used to sexual contact again. When having sex, choose a position that does not require too much pressure on the area that feels sensitive.
Do Kegel exercises to help your vagina regain its muscle tone, and try taking a class that has you do postpartum exercises that will help you get back in shape and increase your self-esteem. Suffering from vaginal gas after giving birth is normal.
Psychological factors
Other mothers are in low spirits or no longer feel as attractive as before and notice that their sexual desire decreases after giving birth. Don't worry if this is your case. Each woman needs a different time to resume relationships. If this happens to you, ask your partner to pamper you. A massage, a long hug or other signs of affection can have a magical effect on your self-esteem. The image of your own body may be self-conscious: you may feel so changed after pregnancy and childbirth that you need to allow time for it to return to normal and feel like yourself again. Many women claim that they have a low libido at that time in their lives: they simply do not feel as beautiful and attractive. Learn to love yourself again and recognize how wonderful your body is for having given it life.
Some mothers feel afraid or reluctant for different reasons. The most common is the pain caused by the episiotomy and stitches . Even if you have not had an episiotomy or suffered a tear, the perineal region may remain tender for some time.
Fatigue is another very important factor. Taking care of a baby 24 hours a day is exhausting, physically and emotionally, and that's why once you go to bed all you want to do is sleep.
Eat well and drink plenty of fluids. Rest whenever you can. To have any energy left, you need to take good care of yourself.
My partner wants to have sex, but I don't feel like it
What happens if my partner wants to have sex before me? This situation actually happens often and needs love and understanding from both parties to prevent it from becoming a problem. First of all, it is important that you both talk about what you feel. Your partner could feel rejected if you do not want to maintain relationships , therefore you should explain the physical discomfort or anxieties you feel, which are what make you feel reluctant.
Also after the arrival of a baby, priorities change and it is more difficult to find time alone. Many couples complain that there is no time in their lives to dedicate to each other during these first weeks and months with the baby, but there are ways to find it. Words and caresses manage to transmit a lot of affection and emotion, and both will benefit from this closeness. When it comes to physical contact, having sex does not necessarily mean achieving complete penetration; Simply the stimulation can be highly pleasurable . For a few months you may discover that relationships can go far beyond sexual activity.
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