Self-esteem is a factor with an outstanding impact on the behavior and emotional state of children, which greatly affects their way of being and doing.
“You have to take care of your self-esteem”, “ reinforce your child's self-esteem ”... You have read and heard these types of phrases many times, both as advice to apply to yourself and to do with your sons and daughters if you have them. This is a concept that is on the lips of all experts in psychology, teaching and, ultimately, in any field linked to emotional health. It is no wonder because self-esteem has a decisive impact on the behavior of all human beings, especially that of boys and girls.
“The personal appearance of a child has value for his parents and the immediate environment, and this will influence the self-perception that the child has of himself ,” they say from Ment Salud, a psychological office located in Murcia. In the opinion of professionals, “an accepted child, recognized as he is, when this information of acceptance is confirmed through various actions over and over again by his loved ones and environment, is making a sum of judgments about himself that "They will contribute to the formation of adequate self-esteem," they add.
It is important to emphasize the term “continuous” because self-esteem is something that is cultivated daily throughout life. It is like a battery that needs to be recharged with our actions and those around us, like that plant that accompanies us for years thanks to the fact that we water it when it needs it.
Typical behaviors of children with high self-esteem
If it is not watered or cared for, or if it is damaged by some sudden or continuous act, we speak of low self-esteem. When all of the above is done, self-esteem is in good health and that is when we say that a boy or girl, or an adult too, has good self-esteem. A good conception and image of oneself.
How we have self-esteem at each stage of life is a decisive factor in our behavior. It is so in adult life and even more so in childhood and adolescence. “During the school stage, self-esteem levels vary visibly, and are even more affected by the acquisition of skills and competence (especially in terms of school performance, friendships , and sports),” Ment Salud points out.
Its team of professionals defines which are the most common behaviors in minors with a cared for and well-nourished self-esteem and which are, on the other hand, the typical behaviors of boys and girls with low or damaged self-esteem. These are the characteristics of children with good self-esteem:
- Trust him/her , he/she sees himself as capable, important and competent. He doesn't feel inferior when she asks for or needs help.
- You are confident in your ability to solve your own problems , without becoming frustrated by failures and difficulties. They have a greater tolerance for frustration.
- Normally he relates correctly to his peers. They know how to defend their rights and respect those of others. They have ease in social interaction.
- They are cooperative and respect the rules. They know how to play alone or in a group.
- They like to have their own ideas, they expose, defend and maintain them when they are reasonable.
- They are not very conducive to depressive situations.
Differences with low self-esteem
These characteristics of the behavior of boys and girls with high self-esteem clash completely with the way of behaving of the majority of minors who have damaged self-esteem.
For example, Ment Salud states that it is common for these boys and girls to “ have a critical attitude toward themselves ,” which can lead them to “ seek attention and sympathy from others through this attitude.”
Furthermore, they tend to show “ chronic indecision due to an exaggerated fear of making mistakes ” because they have little confidence in themselves and find it difficult to expose themselves in public, and they also do not know how to say no. “There is a need for approval and they fear displeasing or losing the good opinion of others,” Ment Salud indicates in this regard.
On the other hand, they tend to be very perfectionist boys and girls with high demands , two issues that in their case tend to become a problem rather than a virtue. “They are rarely happy with what they do, they are not usually proud of their schoolwork and sometimes it is difficult for them to show it or teach it to others,” they say from the psychological office.
Their mood, furthermore, “is sad, with an inhibited and unsociable attitude ,” and they also sometimes show “challenging and aggressive attitudes, with irritability, on the verge of exploding over unimportant things.”
The differences between one behavior and another, as you see, are very important, hence they are a compelling reason to understand the importance it has for our quality of life and happiness, and for that of our sons and daughters above all and of all, take care of your self-esteem.
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