Impulse phobias in the postpartum: when you are afraid of being a mother

 Have you ever surprised yourself with a thought about harming your baby? They are impulsive phobias and this is all you need to know about them.

Sometimes we catch ourselves having thoughts about harming a loved one and the fear arises that the thought is real and even that we are going to do it. This is called impulse phobias and in postpartum and motherhood, it is more common than we think. 

These are irrational thoughts that plague mothers about harming their babies. And if we don't say that they exist, all (and there are many) women who have experienced it at some point in their lives may have believed that they were losing their minds.

As we have indicated previously, we are talking about more or less fleeting thoughts but they are always irrational. When almost all women face motherhood for the first time, we experience them, with greater or lesser frequency, with greater or lesser intensity.

What is important to be clear is that they are thoughts that are beyond the control and will of the woman, and that on many occasions they attack in a very invasive way, even with images that generate real discomfort. The greatest difficulty we encounter when we are faced with women who suffer from impulsive phobias is believing that everything we think is voluntary and conscious. Sometimes they have even dared to say it out loud to couples, friends, family members or professionals who have automatically become alarmed without going any further, without even asking that question, but do you feel capable or do you think you have harmed your baby??

Tips to overcome impulsive phobia

Many women have these types of thoughts and few say them out loud for fear of retaliation or consequences, when what they need is understanding. 

It is likely that the level of fatigue and baseline anxiety are very high and that is why our brain not only begins to generate more negative thoughts, it also seems very credible because there is so much responsibility that we feel for the physical and emotional health of our creatures. that we feel overwhelmed.

Three quick tips for you, if you are having these thoughts and are scared:

• Express it, say it out loud, with someone you trust who makes you feel safe and who you know will support your discomfort and remind you that you would be incapable of harming your baby.
• Ask for professional help, not only for the thoughts but also to help you move towards this new reality that is making you uncomfortable.

Continue interacting with your baby, create a bond, care for him, and discover how you are capable of caring for him, you are capable and you are the best mother he needs.

There are many people who believe that every thought we have defines us, that we are fully capable of controlling what we do and don't think, and that our head is always right, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you no. Being assaulted by a thought that we can categorize as “bad” or “wrong” does not automatically make you a bad person, much less a bad mother.