The baby is finally here! Now that overwhelming parental happiness should also appear, right? Well no; It usually takes a while.
Why does that happen, why are parents not happy from the first moment? Because the opposite responds to the creation of a myth.
The baby that has just come out of the mother's womb, exhausted by birth, but eager to know the world, looks around with infinite tenderness. And, of course, his parents ' hearts overflow. The mother is very tired but happy, and the father is proud. It's love at first sight, and it's forever.
That's how it should be, but sometimes it isn't. The reality is very different in many cases.
Obviously, a birth is always a special moment. Magical perhaps and, depending on the temperament of the participants, it can even be romantic.
The relationship established in each case between the father, mother, and baby is also unique. This cautious trial, this creation of the first emotional bonds is the germ of a wonderful bond that will last a lifetime.
But at first, many parents feel stunned when they don't experience an immediate reaction of strong love for the newborn. The reason is that there are too many preconceived ideas about maternal and paternal happiness that do not always correspond to reality. To avoid these feelings of bad conscience, we point out three myths and realities about the emotional issue. The conclusion is this: you have to give time to love.
We are crazy with joy
The myth: we are super happy. The reality: New parents' expectations are high, but how much love, how much happiness is normal in the delivery room? Am I a bad mother if I'm not elated and crazy with joy? Do all parents immediately love their children? No, experts say. Ecstatic happiness is the exception, not the rule. It's okay if it comes up, but it's no drama if it's missing. Most couples demand too much from each other, but it is neither a sign of lack of affection nor is any harm done to the baby if we do not feel like we are floating among clouds. In other cultures of Asia or Africa, no one thinks of demanding gestures of joy from a mother after the hard hours of childbirth. Love needs time and space to grow. Sometimes a couple of hours, sometimes a couple of days, sometimes a couple of weeks, and sometimes sometime during the first year it appears suddenly. Guaranteed.
Our baby is the most handsome!
The myth: our baby is the most handsome and wonderful in the world. The reality: the moment after childbirth is not the most favorable time to fall in love with the newborn. Love is not achieved by force and at first sight. After all, we usually fall in love when we feel good about a person, when we find each other attractive, and when our heads are not too full of complicated thoughts. Although when looking at the baby after its birth, the mother's body and to a certain extent also that of the father is flooded with numerous hormones, those of happiness are not there: adrenaline and endorphins, above all, awaken and rekindle curiosity. for the baby.
Our love is always tender
The myth: Our love is always tender. The reality: tender, splendid and rosy. On television, we can see every day what maternal and paternal love should be like. And then you're home and what you want to do is get the baby to stop crying. Love for children may at first be expressed more as concern than tenderness. A good team is better the more it trains. When older people learn to meet the needs of little ones, their ability to accurately interpret babies' small signals grows. And if you know what the baby wants it is easier to help him, which creates a spectacular feeling, and we all love people who give us wonderful feelings.
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